| YOUSE |
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| 05:45pm 30/03/2009 |
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YEAH! ALLS UV YOUSE! |
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| Scars - completed first draft |
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| 11:21am 18/03/2009 |
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Emmut heard his son sneaking out. The floorboards creaked and groaned, and the door squeaked as it was opened. The noise fluttered through the blackness where Emmut laid beside his wife, who’d drifted off an hour or so before.
He wasn’t quite certain whether he was surprised or not. Okashii had never done anything like this. But he was twelve now, and bound to display at least a small amount of rebellion. Most boys did. That aside, he had been sullen…stoically silent all day. Emmut had known that something was on his son’s mind, though Okashii had insisted he was simply tired. No, the boy’s emerald eyes had been alight and alert.
So, hoping he was merely paranoid, Emmut had lain awake. And he had been rewarded. Now, solemnly, feeling condemned, he rolled out of his wife’s embrace and stood to dress. He realized that he had been expecting this resistance to begin soon, as he reflected to himself. Okashii was twelve, and he had witnessed young men of that age displaying rebellious tendencies. It was still a shock, though, because he had always been close to his son. Okashii had never had any problems coming to him before…
“What is it, Dearest?” Alysan asked, waking up at the movement and propping herself on her elbow, and shocking Emmut from his silent contemplation. Though, just how awake she actually was, he couldn’t tell.
“Okashii just left,” he replied.
“Ah. He’s still your son. Don’t be rash.”
“I know. Thank you for reminding me.” They both knew that sometimes children needed to learn their own lessons. They both had – his father had been a drunk, hers a merchant too busy to care for her – come to realize that it simply did no good to leap in and try to control the situation.
“Take your sword and satchel. Just in case.” Alysan yawned and laid back down. Emmut smiled at her – Okashii was still her baby…still in need of protecting and healing, despite their long talks about and understanding of the need that they begin letting go of such views. At least she no longer tried to force herself into the situation anymore – Okashii had always been closer to his father. They were friends, as well as family. She had come to terms with that. She hadn’t liked it; Emmut remembered several instances in which he’d found her crying in their bedroom because she was afraid that her son didn’t love her.
But he was still her baby.
“I will,” he told her, then kissed her cheek and dressed, watching her close her eyes as he did so and wishing he could see the beautiful, vibrant green in them through the darkness. But she hadn’t been as awake as he’d thought. Maybe she wouldn’t remember in the morning. She was asleep again as he closed the door to their room and moved silently through the dark house. He checked Okashii’s room first, but found nothing. His son was gone. Emmut turned and weaved back through the shadows to the foyer, slipping on his shoes and grabbing his sword. He bent down and pulled the satchel with bandages and ointments from a lower cabinet. He attached this to his belt and slid his lead scabbard into place on his left hip.
He turned for the door, but paused a moment, and looked back to see whether Okashii had taken his wooden sword.
No, it was there. But the slot beside it was empty. The slot where his steel sword should have been...
Emmut paused longer. He’d taught his son better than to duel with a steel blade. Had he just taken it as a precaution? Wild beasts lurked in the forest. And occasionally brigands.
Or, perhaps, he’d been unable to sleep, and had stepped out to do a few exercises…
Emmut knew he was stretching. His son was in trouble, and that was all he knew. He would have to find Okashii first, and he prayed silently that he was simply being paranoid.
Emmut detoured as he stepped out into the grass of their yard and climbed to the roof of their little house, seeking a vantage point. Since they lived on the plains, any roof became a watchtower – one could see for miles in almost any direction. The exceptions were west, where the tree line began (sparsely, at first, but it thickened quickly in a manner that seemed unnatural), and northwest, where a little hill overlooked the village of Sansheo. In the bright light of the waxing moon, the far side of that hill was the only place that Emmut couldn’t see. And his white-haired son would stand out on the gloomy plains easily. It made a little sense that Okashii would go there. It was one of their favorite spots for training.
He just couldn’t sleep, Emmut told himself, taking a breath. He looked up to the stars for one moment, seeking out the green glow in the eye of Medin’s Priestess. Seeking guidance.
He found none. But it was his duty as a father, and he reminded himself of his vow to be a father just twelve years ago. He liked to think he’d done a good job. But he was certain he’d made plenty of mistakes.
Emmut gritted his teeth and hopped off of the roof, the cool night air ripping at his clothes momentarily, and the crickets silenced themselves nearby for a few seconds after he’d landed. The only thing that mattered at the moment was getting this right. That’s how he’d taken every challenge of being a father – one-by-one, just trying not to mess up. He had a good relationship with his son. So he thought.
He liked to think that proved he’d done well…
Emmut marched through the village streets and out onto the plains, heading toward the hill that loomed before him. He could clearly see a long snaky shadow in the tall grass where it had been bent. No…three…four? Okashii wasn’t the only one out tonight.
Emmut’s blue eyes lit with concern and he began to jog ahead. Something in the sporadic appearance of fireflies, and their fade from existence shortly after, and the singing of the grasshoppers incited urgency in Emmut’s mind. A breeze pushed at him from behind as he climbed to the top of the hill, worrying himself. How was he going to handle this? Doubt crept in gradually, eating at the edges of his mind. He was angry, yes, but he couldn’t decide who he was angry at. Okashii for this stunt, or himself for failing at being a father. He should have made the boy talk to him. He should have done something.
He crested the hill and looked around. In the distance, he could see a small crowd of figures. Two or three just stood in place, watching two others dance about.
The clash of steel sounded, and Emmut felt his world shatter. How badly he’d failed.
He hesitated only a moment, then ran down the hill, trying to cover the distance as fast as he could. Somebody would get hurt. It always happened when boys thought they were men. And, as the Captain of the village militia, Emmut had to intervene.
He could see the two dancing back and forth, slashing, thrusting, parrying. The moon highlighted it all – especially Okashii’s silver-white hair, a match to his father’s – a genetic trophy Emmut had won in the war. The Kessen line would be forever marked by that hair. And Emmut’s eyes fixated on it like a beacon.
He drew closer, but it was painfully slow. All he managed to do, in the end, was to get close enough to see the blade connect, and watch the finger fly free of its owner’s hand. Then he was there, parrying their swords apart with his own.
It was unneeded – one of the combatants was already crying out, screaming in pain and shock as he dropped his sword to hold his now-bloody hand, black-red in the moonlight.
The onlookers scattered quickly as Emmut bent, laying his sword on the grass and pulling out his satchel. He pulled the screaming boy closer forcefully and placed a strip of bandage over the lost finger to stem the bleeding a bit. Only then did he pause to make sure of who it was. Black hair, round face, and a voice that was well past its first changes. It was Lowell. The one who was considered a bully by most of the village’s parents.
At least Okashii’s opponent didn’t surprise him. They were always at odds.
“Okashii!” Emmut barked. He could hear his son wince at his tone. Having his father’s trust and respect had always been a point of pride and joy for Okashii. “Search the ground. Try to find the finger.”
Emmut worked for a minute longer, applying an herbal salve to the wound that would stem the blood flow further, but otherwise preserve it. Then he directed the boy to hold a fresh bandage to it, applying pressure, and helped his son to search on hands and knees.
Okashii was as silent as the grave, and remained that way.
They found the finger after a long while of desperate searching, running their fingers through the grass, feeling for something that was a bit warmer than the night air or the cool grass, not as hard as the stones and pebbles they found. As he pulled it up, Emmut caught his son’s attention again.
“Run ahead and wake the healer. Then wait for me at home.” Okashii nodded, and was off. Emmut took a moment to sheath his sword and apply the same salve to the severed finger, telling the boy he was lucky it was only his pinky, then made a few bad attempts at jokes, which he didn’t even really think about, as he tried to ease the boy’s pain and help him toward the healer’s home.
Lowell staggered and put on a hard face through his tears, too much in shock to be able to walk straight, but too proud to admit to his pain now that he had begun to recover. The tall, untamed grass didn’t help. It snagged at their toes occasionally, where dead and broken stalks formed a thin layer near the ground.
The moon had risen slightly higher in the sky since Emmut had left his home, and he glanced up at it as they walked, one hand pasted to Lowell’s tense shoulders. He had really begun to feel the pain now. And the moment came back to him, rushing up just a moment too late, helpless to do anything but watch as Lowell’s finger flew, hovered in the air, frozen in its flight for one terrible moment.
He had never faced this sort of challenge as a father. And he had worked hard in attempting to avoid them. The worst scolding he had ever had to give his son was when the boy had taken his wooden sword out of the house when he’d first gotten it and pretended his friends were ‘Demonic Scoundrels’ or some such thing. He’d bruised Eren’s leg by accident, in the midst of all of the giggling. Alysan had heard the cries break out.
“This is not a toy,” Emmut had explained to his son firmly.
But this was different.
“It doesn’t matter if it isn’t sharp, Okashii. Somebody could get hurt.”
Steel. An instrument of war. A cheap one, perhaps, but…
“It doesn’t matter, son. Explain that to Eren. I told you before – you’re only allowed to practice with it when I’m here with you.”
Discipline. Humility. Commitment. Those were the things that Emmut had been teaching, along with self-defense. But now what was he to do? He didn’t know where to even consider beginning…
Lowell wavered, swayed a bit far to one side as they walked, bringing Emmut back to reality as he was forced to steady the boy. They were back in the village now, with the healer’s house just around the corner.
“We’re almost there, son. Just a little further,” Emmut said softly, trying to comfort the young man.
They approached and Emmut knocked. The old healer looked out at them tiredly, his white eyes set deep in his withered old face.
“Good evening, Buren,” Emmut sighed, “I believe my son has been by to tell you we were coming?” Buren nodded and yawned. The old man was beginning to feel his years, and the whole village knew it. When he’d moved out to the plains, thirteen or so years prior, Emmut had found Buren to be an amusing old man. He’d had most of the same wrinkles, and yet he had always displayed such a sprightly demeanor. Nobody danced with more young girls at the Equinox Festivals than Buren.
“Come in,” the old man said wearily. He led them to his healing room and sat Lowell, his face lined with pain, in the center.
“I also brought the finger,” Emmut told him, offering the digit, wondering now how he had not been repulsed at all “and I rubbed some of that Sporin Crème onto the wound and the finger. In case you can reattach it.”
“Good thinking, Mister Kessen,” Buren replied, studying Lowell’s hand and the finger. “I’ll see what I can do about it. It may not be fully functional, but I’ll see…”
“Thank you, sir,” Emmut nodded, “and, please, I’ll be paying for this. I need to go and get his father. I’ll send him here.”
“Go on, Mister Kessen,” Buren nodded, “and thank you. Goodnight.”
Emmut left then, his mind still preoccupied as he walked out. Lowell had remained silent the entire time. Emmut didn’t blame him. He was in that transitory stage, and this would be an odd trial for him since he had likely just begun to think himself invincible.
But every child must learn that every action has a consequence. Even refusing to act comes with consequences. He was so certain he’d taught that to his son. He would have to reinforce it. There, that was one thing…but, what were the consequences.
Aside from Lowell’s finger. But that was still undecided. And, if he knew Okashii at all, he would be beating himself up over it.
But, then, tonight had just made him wonder: did he know Okashii at all?
What got him the most was that, despite all of the lessons and repeating himself, Okashii had still disobeyed. One of the biggest rules, too!
For just a moment, Emmut allowed himself to fume and swear silently as he walked, getting the frustration out of his system. Bottling it up would just make him furious. Losing control over his anger would just ruin things. Patience had always served him best.
He had learned that the hard way. More than once, before it stuck.
He walked into and out of the shadows cast by the bright moonlight. The dirt where the moon struck it seemed to glow light brown, tinged with silver. Everything was tinged with blue and silver on nights like this. The houses, the grass, the clothes Emmut wore. And he wished that he could use that as a scapegoat. It wasn’t his son out there. Rather, it was one of the blond boys in the village, whose hair had shone white in the moonlight. But he knew better.
Then, he was knocking on another door, wondering what he was going to say to Lowell’s father.
Larson answered the door, sticking his face and shoulders into the moonlight, leaning on the doorframe. He was a big man. The tallest in the local militia. Burley was the most common description. His breath smelled vaguely of alcohol.
“Evenin’ Captain,” Lars yawned, “somethin’ th’ matter?”
“I’m not here as your Captain, Larson. I caught Okashii and Lowell dueling. Lowell’s over at Buren’s now. He lost his pinky on his sword hand.”
That woke Larson up. Sobered him, too, if the alcohol was still having any effect. Larson was speechless for a moment, then he turned back to grab a shirt from his room. Emmut saw large amounts of chest hair disappearing as he pulled the shirt down just after walking into the moonlight.
“They’re expecting you,” Emmut told him. “And if Buren asks for payment, remind him that I’m covering any expenses. I need to go and speak with my son now, if you do not mind.”
“Go ahead, Captain,” Larson called back as he hurried on ahead of Emmut, “and thank you.” Emmut watched the man turn a corner and vanish. Then he turned back toward the center of the village where his home stood, larger than most, and began trying to fight down the nausea as he made one final attempt to sort out what he was going to say.
What could he say? What hadn’t he already said with all of the patience and love in the world? At first, nothing would come. Finally, as he walked through the arch gate and into his yard, he realized what it was that he was feeling, and what he had never told his son before.
He found Okashii on the roof, his hair blowing in the azalea-scented breeze and glowing brightly in the same bright moonlight, which had almost reached its nightly apex now. Emmut knew that his own hair glowed just as brightly, though it had once been black, like obsidian. He sat next to Okashii, and they were both silent for a long while, made longer by the anticipation of the pain to come. Finally, Emmut sighed.
“I am…very disappointed in you, son,” Emmut began. He paused, feeling the weight of his words impact Okashii. His son reeled.
“I’m sorry…I…” Okashii tried softly, his voice barely a whisper.
“Sorry won’t cut it, Okashii,” Emmut said firmly. “I told you never to do what you did tonight. You didn’t listen. Why?”
He turned to look at Okashii, waiting. When he finally opened his mouth to speak, Okashii turned to look up at him. It was then that Emmut noticed the cut on his son’s left cheek, since he had been on Okashii’s right. He grabbed his son’s chin and pushed his hair out of the way.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were hurt?” he demanded. Emmut pulled out his satchel again and held a bandage to the cut to make certain it had stopped bleeding.
“I…I don’t know…” Okashii frowned. “I didn’t even really notice it until I had run on to Mister Buren’s place…”
“So, you’ve earned your first battle scar…” Emmut sighed.
Consequences, he reminded himself. Okashii couldn’t help a little grin. Emmut didn’t like that.
“I suppose it doesn’t really matter why you were dueling. The thing is, you did it. And now Lowell has lost a finger. Buren is going to try to get it reattached, but there is no guarantee of that. Are you glad of that?”
“Well, no,” Okashii began.
“No, and neither am I,” Emmut continued. “Son, you know you can talk to me. Usually, you do. I knew you weren’t really tired today, but I thought you would come to me when you were ready. So I let you be. And that, I suppose, was a mistake on my part. But I thought I could trust you. And now I am aware that, maybe, I can’t really trust you after all.”
“I’m sorry…” Okashii was solemn again.
“You’re going to have to accept the consequences of your actions, son,” Emmut frowned, thinking. “I wish I could say that scar on your cheek would be enough. But you’re probably going to be proud of it. Do you remember what I’ve told you about pride?”
Okashii nodded.
“But, then…how can I trust you to remember all of those lessons? Especially since you so easily forgot what I had told you about dueling. You need a reminder…”
Emmut paused, considering his alternatives. But it seemed to him that the most fitting thing was also one of the least favorable. But Okashii needed to learn his lesson. It was something that could save his life one day. Pride was often a warrior’s downfall. It was, in Emmut’s mind, one of the worst traits to have in excess.
“One scar for pride, prowess in battle – having been wounded, yet lived to tell the tale,” Emmut said as he stood and drew his sword. His arm was numb as he extended the blade easily, as though it were just another finger sprouting from his hand. “Another beside it for humility and shame, to remind you of this night for the rest of your life.
“Stand and face me, son, and receive the consequences of your actions. I will take that as your vow to never disappoint me again.”
A tear fell from each of Emmut’s cobalt eyes as his son stood, solemnly and sincerely, to face him.
One of sorrow, anguish, and fear. Filled with the shame of what he was about to do.
One of awe, love, and joy. Filled with fatherly pride in his son, despite his mistakes.
“I love you, Okashii,” Emmut told him.
The blade wavered, then cut.
Okashii watched his son’s eyes as he finished telling the story, then glanced at his daughter, measuring their silence. Rakusho and Raimey were ten now, and he had been putting off the story every time they had asked about his scars. He wanted to make sure that they were old enough to understand the lesson involved. He decided that, this time, they were finally old enough.
“Did it hurt?” Rakusho asked after a moment.
“Of course,” he replied. “But it hurt more that my father was so disappointed in me. I would have done just about anything to prove myself to him again. I loved my dad. A lot.”
“Daddy, I love you a lot,” Raimey grinned, “but I wouldn’t let you cut me!” Okashii chuckled. She was already starting to show bits of her mother’s sauciness.
“I know, sweetheart,” Okashii smiled. “But, no matter the method…it worked. He did what he thought was best for me. And his father was hardly a father at all, so he never had anything to look at for guidance like I do.
“But now you know, right?”
His kids nodded, and he tucked them into their beds.
“Goodnight, you two,” he smiled as he blew out the candles and headed for the door. “I love you.”
“Love you, too,” they chimed back. He closed the door and headed for his own bed, smiling to himself. |
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| Spring Break has died... |
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| 11:36am 16/03/2009 |
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mood:  tired
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It's gone. And with its death returns my busy schedule and lots of deadlines. The second half of the semester is always zanier and more stressful than the first. Therefore, with how this semester has been so far, I can assure you that I will be thoroughly fit for a straight-jacket within another month or two...
But Spring Break was really nice. I found time to play through and finish EVERYTHING on The Orange Box (not counting Team Fortress 2, because it is strictly online multiplayer, and I has this many internets at home: 000000.0000
Sucks, don't it?
Anyhow, I'd primarily bought the game for Portal, which was DAMN fun. It's a unique play experience with great mechanics. The writing is witty and amusing. There are very few moments during the game which don't have you laughing, and those are filled with challenging puzzles and thrills that can leave even Assassin's Creed's ball-numbing drops seem mild. Or at least match them. And then, the end song...I'd heard it before, but after actually playing the game, it's so much funnier. And after playing Half-Life 2, the joke about Black Mesa is awesome.
Speaking of Half-Life 2, I'd decided to play it as an afterthought. I wasn't in the mood for Portal at the moment, and with all the great things I'd heard about the franchise, I was curious. Well, the great things I'd heard weren't misleading. I've never played the first game, but I MUST now. That's really the only downside I found, because Valve didn't do the best job of acclimating players who skipped the first game. There's a lot that I didn't understand, and had to try to piece together.
Anyhow, the game is very story-driven. It's a lot like reading a book or watching a movie. And the plot, while somewhat diluted by the long streaks of action between points A and B, is frickin' awesome! And then there's the premise, upheld so firmly throughout, that you are nothing special. You're human. The only things that give you any sort of advantage are your HEV suit, the Gravity Gun, and your intellect and ability to solve problems. At other times, it's just plain LUCK. There were at least five points throughout the span of HL2, HL2: Episode 1, and HL2:Episode 2, if not more, where you're completely helpless. Paralyzed or unconscious. And that is a unique sensation for the player when there are so many badasses proliferating the games we play. Furthermore, while I have not played Half-Life, from what I understand, it left another unique impression on the player: defeat. Half-Life revolves around the Black Mesa incident. I'm not perfectly sure what that was, beyond an uprising, but the regime is still in command, or more firmly in command, at the beginning of HL2. This, of course, relates back to Portal, in which your protagonist defeats the evil AI, but still dies in the cataclysmic explosion that follows.
So, on a final note in gaming, I would like to reiterate: Half-Life 2, the entire Orange Box, was effing amazing. I think I still prefer Mass Effect, but after twenty-six hours, give or take, of magnificent gaming over spring break, I feel very much relaxed and rejuvenated.
Oh, and I also finished LoZ:PH a while back. It was good. ^_^ And I'm working on my Sapphire version again, training my pokemon a bit. I think I'm going to get FR or LG next, because I want a damned Bulbasaur (<3), and then I'm going to go on to the newest generation.
More than anything, though, I want a remake of Gold and Silver. Those were the best, in my opinion.
And, now I go to wait out my time at work, and busy myself on editing and finishing my story, "Scars", which I have to resubmit by tomorrow at midnight. I'll post it when I'm done.
*yawn*
Then...SLEEP. X_X
I wish... |
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| Human Existence... |
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| 12:05pm 21/02/2009 |
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mood: depressed music: Indestructible - Disturbed
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We're never content, are we?
I'm in another of those 'what if?' moods. Mainly, what if I'd chosen differently? I still miss Genevieve. I haven't talked to her. I'm scared it may reopen old wounds for her. And I'm scared that she'll reject me - she has every reason to.
It's weird because I haven't really thought about her in months, then, suddenly...last night I had a dream about her. And it was so VIVID, even though I never actually met Gena. And I hate it because I LOVE Robin. She's wonderful. And Robin still feels remorse for my decision - she feels as bad as, if not worse than, I do. For hurting Gena.
Mostly, I just miss that friendship I had with her. She was unique. Extremely unique. And so is Robin.
It sucks that I've met so many wonderful women, and I have to choose between them. Which one do I keep for life?
It sucks that I'm perfectly happy, and second-guessing myself.
But I go through these phases. I know that I'm lucky to have Robin. I KNOW that. And yet...occasionally, I wonder if there isn't more to be had. IS she the one for me? Or was I supposed to be with Gena? Was Robin just a distraction thrown my way... Eris' Golden Apple.
Or am I the apple? Or Paris, who has to choose between Hera, Aphrodite, and Athena...
Coming back to earth, however...
School is hectic. Demanding. As is trying to work as much as possible between classes.
Yesterday, I almost got kicked out of my Anthro class. Because I had my hand below the desk. The Professor has become so paranoid and anal about people having cell phones out that when he saw me staring at my notebook with one hand below the desk, he assumed cell phone. So he had me stand up and speak my name, made sure I didn't have a phone out.
Yeah. This guy's only getting cookier as the semester progresses. >_<
Next Tuesday, we're going to go sign a lease with a couple of friends. We're getting a three-bed, two-bath house for $450/month rent. It's gonna be great. Especially having a shower instead of having to take baths all the time.
Money's a little tight right now, but eh...not for much longer, I hope.
And today is Robin's birthday. It doesn't feel like it. At all. Mostly because we're working all weekend.
And that's about it for now. I'm getting back to work. X_X |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| 2008 in Review (slightly delayed) |
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| 02:06pm 09/02/2009 |
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mood: bored music: Stricken - Disturbed
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I've been horribly busy and forgetful lately. So, now that I'm remembering this tradition, here's how my year went (briefly):
January opened up nicely. I was visiting my grandfather, and I noted on the drive back that the skies were mostly blue, but there were a few eerie clouds looming in the distance. The weather, it turned out, was right. Looking back, my reading of it was slightly off. Those clouds were in no way insignificant...
My second semester of college went pretty well. I made new friends, did well in my classes... In March, my sister got married. Hadn't seen that one coming.
All year long, my mother was off and on with her still-fiance. She's finally beginning to become disenchanted with the asshole. So...MAYBE in 2009...
In April, while hastily trying to evacuate our dorms, Robin and I got our first apartment. A little efficiency for $200/month. We also pulled a gorgeous tortoiseshell cat off of the street and named her Tara. (She's mah baby. XD)
It wasn't until June that I made my second post of the year on LJ. Things were still looking up. That was the fifth of June.
On the twentieth, I found out that my grandfather had cancer. He'd been given his six months in April, but didn't want me ignoring my responsibilities to rush up to see him. So, I accepted his wishes, and planned to see him when my schedule permitted. I should have proven him right. I never got to say goodbye. The one time I saw him, the 29th of June, he didn't wake up, though I was there in the hospice for hours. He was heavily drugged for the pain. He didn't look like the same man who had helped to raise me. No, just a husk of that man.
He died just two days later. July 1st, 2008.
When it comes to family for me...I'm almost completely cut off until I can marry and raise a new one for myself. My mother's never there for me. Neither are my aunts, cousins, or my sister. Not really. And my dad...well...
No, my grandparents were the only ones who were truly THERE for me. And they're both gone...
That was the biggest trial I faced in 2008. Moving on after that. But I was forced to. July 13th, I went up to Vermont on vacation with Robin and her family. It was fun, but I was glad to be home.
August brought the beginning of my second year of college. And in September, we got Lyrie, the most adorable effing menace EVER. Damned kitten...
I also reconnected with an old friend, Athena. Whose constant conversation on Facebook or MySpace I am always grateful for.
Then, I turned 21. And I still haven't found any form of alcohol I would really drink for enjoyment.
In October, Robin spent a weekend in South Carolina. November and December brought holidays.
Yeah, my memory is iffy. Leave me be.
I got a few toys for christmas. Dream Theater's latest live DVD. A Kamelot album, book, and Barnes & Noble gift card from Robin.
I got her a necklace. Tee hee. And that's about it. I got a few other things. But I'm tired. I was up until four last night. XD
Anyhow, on to the more interesting stuff. I read more books last year than in any year since I've been keeping record. Here's the list for 2008. If you want a rundown of why I rated it as I did, just ask.
Books read in 2008
• 10 - LOTR: The Two Towers by J.R.R. Tolkien
• 4 - The Epic of Gilgamesh
• 10 - The Odyssey by Homer (re-read)
• 9 - Beowulf (re-read)
• 9 - Don Quixote by Cervantes (abridged)
• 10 - LOTR: The Return of the King by J.R.R. Tolkien
• 10 - New Moon by Stephenie Meyer
• 10 - Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer
• 9 - The Princess Bride by S. Morgenstern; abridged by William Goldman
• 9 - The Black Unicorn by Terry Brooks
• 10 - Way of the Wolf by E.E. Knight
• 9 - Valiant by Holly Black
• 10 - Choice of the Cat by E.E. Knight
• 10 - Tale of the Thunderbolt by E.E. Knight
• 8 - Song for the Basilisk by Patricia A. McKillip
• 10 - Valley of Shadows by Frank Fradella (re-read)
• 9 - Queen of the Damned by Anne Rice
• 10 - Beka Cooper: Terrier by Tamora Pierce
• 10 - Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer
• 7 - The Warrior’s Apprentice by Lois McMaster Bujold
• 7 - A Walk to Remember by Nicholas Sparks
• 8 - A Wizard of Earthsea by Ursula K. Le Guin
• 10 - The Gypsy Morph by Terry Brooks
• 10 - Valentine’s Rising by E.E. Knight
• 9 - Valentine’s Exile by E.E. Knight
• 8 - The Giver by Lois Lowry
• 6 - Six Characters in Search of an Author by Luigi Pirandello
The best artist I discovered in 2008 is easily Kamelot. Khan's voice is pure magic. And the band's sound is phenomenal. I even got them to compete with Sonata Arctica for Robin. XD Jorn Lande, with Masterplan is a close second. Love "The Battle" with Lande and Allen.
For my favorite album of 2008...Well, I never got Opeth, DragonForce, or Disturbed... Damn this is a tough call. The only new albums I bought in 2008 that were released in 2008 are:
Shinedown - Sound of Madness
Iced Earth - The Crucible of Man
Metallica - Death Magnetic
Ayreon - 01011001
I bought a few more for Robin's birthday, including Nickleback and 3 Doors Down, but I won't include them because they weren't bought in 2008.
All four of these albums were fantastic. But on a basis of which one I listen to most, I'd have to go with Ayreon. Those songs are addicting. XD
Shinedown's entry was top-notch. Iced Earth was brilliant with Barlow back at the mic. And Metallica's latest is pure shredded goodness. But I love my Lucassen. XD
Which reminds me: HEY KYLE! Have you managed to start on The Human Equation?
And, for the latest news. I bought Robin an iPod nano and a bunch of CDs for her birthday. We're currently searching for a good two-bed apartment to share with our friends who are moving to Columbus.
Robin and I are in a Creative Writing course this semester. It's a blast! I'll put up my short story submissions as soon as I finish the second one.
And I'm in a vocal lesson course. Hoping to improve and find out where I'm truly comfortable.
And, that's mostly it.
one last thing. If you (ANY OF YOU) like the game Risk, go sign up for landgrab.net. Let me know, and we'll schedule a game for Saturday! It's fun as hell! >D My current record is 3-7. 30% isn't bad. lol.
See you later! |
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| Christmas... eh... |
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| 08:30pm 25/12/2008 |
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mood:  stressed music: There For You - Flyleaf
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Christmas this year was...a very LOVELY day, to say the least.
My mother created some drama when she failed to inform us that she wanted to have DINNER with us. She'd asked us to be there around noon or one. So we thought lunch. No, she wanted the whole day with us. So plans between families clashed. Robin and I went over there for a few hours, then I drove her home and went back to eat dinner with my mom.
I'm not happy about this. This is the second year in a row in which my mother (though it might very well be due to Terry...) has ruined or changed plans at the last possible half-second.
So...yeah...
But it got even better about ten minutes ago. I just found out that one of my good friends was in a bad accident on Monday. She's been unconscious since, and didn't wake up until today. She has a long list of injuries, and her truck was so badly totaled, I hear, that cops on the scene expected a dead body.
This is my Christmas miracle. Simply that she's alive. But that's been one of the few ups today. I hate being this stressed on Christmas.
Thanks, mom.
So, I'm going to go and hope that I can hear from my friend soon, and try to wind down. Maybe I'll get to play some Mario Kart or Brawl tonight.
I need it. |
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| Because I'm bored... |
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| 02:17pm 20/12/2008 |
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mood: bored music: Pandora.com; "Paschendale" - Iron Maiden
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So, I'm creating my own...quiz? Meme? Whatever ye call it. Yes, I'm bored. Not sure I can answer the questions, myself, just yet...it'd be easier if I had my iPod with me.
Anyway, if you were to perform a concert, what would your setlist be (all covers, obviously...)? Give song titles and artists.
1. Your rocking opener:
2. Slightly slower power ballad:
3. Jaded/Love song:
4. Surprise duet with the person you stole this from:
5. Raise the roof again!:
6. Dark and angry:
7. Change to sentimental:
8. Accoustic special:
9. Your personal favorite
10. Finish with a bang!:
Okay...do whatever you like with it. I need to mull over mine some. XD And if you think of a better way to word any of those, go ahead - I'm sleepy and too bored to care about getting it all right.
Damn, this sucks...
Anyway...
If you get a chance to play Eternal Sonata for 360 or PS3, think about it first. Robin and I are having fun with it. But the game's mechanics SUCK. Camera angles are SHITE. The system for battles is fairly inventive, but some of the specifics are frustrating. And, in an attempt to make the game more challenging, Bandai incorporated a Party Level system which affects the PLAYERS, and not the characters. There are some bonuses there, such as getting access to extra special attacks, and the ability to counterattack, but losing time allotted for attacking sucks. And the special attacks are all on one button.
Basically, you have different special attacks for when you're in well-lit areas or when you're in shade or shadows. So you have to watch that, because it affects which attacks are available. Then, once you get to Party Level Three, you can equip two special attacks per element (light/dark). But if you want to use the one that isn't showing, if you're in the properly lit or shadowed area at the proper distance from your opponent, you have to HOLD the special attack button, which just won't work if you happen to have taken up too much time on your turn (which, after PL 3, is only four seconds).
So...it's okay. It's enjoyable, especially since it allows us to work together, and co-op, non-shooter games for 360 (or any system) are few and far between these days.
We'd been renting it, but it's way past due, and we're not halfway yet, XD. So last night we went to Play n' Trade and traded in some old stuff to get it. We had moneys left over, because our trade-ins added up to $37.
We have Assassin's Creed now, too. ^_^ Can't wait to see how it measures up to Mass Effect.
Mass Effect, by the way, is indomitable.
OH! And I got the Dream Theater "Chaos in Motion" DVD for x-mas from some friends. I've seen about half of the first disc. It's EFFING awesome! >D
I really want some Blind Guardian DVDs ;-;
I really NEED some GCN controllers. I have two, but one of the joysticks is coming apart. The cheapo Gamestop variety, wouldn't you know...
Okay...done for now. This helped...briefly...and a small amount... |
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| Mass Effect |
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| 06:05pm 13/12/2008 |
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mood: bored music: 2084 - Ayreon
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I just finished this game yesterday. And, I must say, it is one of the best I've ever set my hands on. It's such a perfect blend of RPG and shooter action, with a HIGHLY detailed world, a killer story, and a focus on the character you play - everything you do has a consequence. Sometimes they're small - other times, it might get a party member killed.
Furthermore, if you intend to play the sequel, your decisions on the first game's playthrough directly affect THAT, as well! The second game won't be out for another year, at best, but I'm already joygasming at the thought of it.
Anyhow...yeah, I'm bored, and I don't have much else to say for the moment. :/ |
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| FINALLY! |
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| 04:58pm 29/11/2008 |
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mood: tired music: Reach a Little Longer - Allen/Lande
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Got the last album on my amazon order last week: Russell Allen and Jorn Lande - "The Battle"
So here's my review of it.
Firstly, wonderful music. The instrumental portions are wonderful, and the vocals have a killer tonality. It sounds AMAZING. Allen and Lande are both excellent vocalists, and the album suits their styles perfectly. But the third-party Magnus Karlsson's lyric-writing capabilities are limited. The lyrics aren't HORRIBLE, but they could be better. They're rather simple. And one of the best songs on the album, "Where Have The Angels Gone?", is lacking because all it really does is ask the question. There is no sense of striving for the answer, or even justifying the asking. Other than that, there are no major drawbacks. And most of the songs are catchy and well-composed. Overall: 8.5/10 |
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| Seriously! |
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| 06:40pm 19/11/2008 |
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mood: disappointed
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What composer can't read/write music!? Especially for the quality of the stuff produced! I really don't know whether to be pissed or suspicious or impressed.
I really would have liked score sheets... *sigh*
And no, not specifying anything. Could damage reputations. |
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| X-mas cards |
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| 01:02pm 19/11/2008 |
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mood:  happy music: "There for You" by Flyleaf
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Robin and I are trying to get into the Christmas card tradition, 'cause we like getting them from friends. So (with comments screened) if you would like one from us, please leave your address for me. |
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| Because the author seems nice enough... |
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| 01:09pm 15/11/2008 |
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There. The author is an LJ user, and a member of a group I'm in. I agreed to spread this around a bit, help him get the word out, if he'd answer a few questions. He did. So, here we are. The video's nothing impressive. But what's he going to do?
Anyhow, see if it interests you. And here's the bit he answered for me:
Tristan Day: Initial inspiration? I'd say real life was my best inspiration. Also, I hadn't seen too many fantasy stories dealing with "angels" or angel-like characters and wanted to explore it for myself.
Funnily enough, someone looked at the vid and said it looked preachy. I had to disagree with them, because it's not really a message-story. However, it is a very theme-heavy story.
Many events in the book are reminiscent of events that have happened in our own real life history. A number of questions are brought up for the reader, but it doesn't go out of its way to provide specific answers or speak in absolutes.
The world of the story is one in which many of its people believe deeply in the ancient texts handed down from their ancestors, but there are others who refuse to accept them, and many who remain somewhere in-between. It's part of a key theme of the book.
However, the story is ultimately one that I think can be enjoyed as a fantasy adventure regardless of its deeper themes, and just be a fun read with interesting characters. So I think it serves both audiences, if you look at it like that. |
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| Ayreon |
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| 01:19pm 12/11/2008 |
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mood: hopeful
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Yes, I HAVE been obsessed lately. "The Human Equation" is easily my favorite album of all time. And, with Kyle's (cloudmx on LJ) help, I'm going to put it on. Live. All of that wonderful music in operatic form. And it will be a charity event, to raise money to fight cancer.
So, as soon as I work out details with Arjen, himself, I'll begin putting this thing together. Until then, I hope many of you get to come when it happens! :D
And, most importantly, Robin's supporting me completely... Nothing can stop me as long as she has my back. |
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| Mike Baker's dead |
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| 11:29am 01/11/2008 |
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mood:  blah music: Dream Theater - Greatest Hit (And 21...) Light Side
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For those who don't know of this man, he was a founding member and vocalist of Shadow Gallery. I don't know any of Shadow Gallery's work, but I do know him from Ayreon's "The Human Equation", in which he sang one song, playing the role of the bastard Father. That one song had made me want to hear some of Shadow Gallery, and see what else the man could do.
But now, he's gone. Dead.
Two weeks after I learn his name.
And it brings Death back around into perspective - not the view of it that everybody takes for granted, that it happens to everybody eventually. But the view that scares you shitless. Baker was forty-five, and died of a heart attack. So, yeah, he was heading that way, but he was still relatively young.
My grandfather was seventy-one, I believe (I can never remember if he was born in '36 or '38...). But he had a good long life. And he was READY to go, after the loss of my grandmother. I miss them both terribly...
And this is exactly why religion happens throughout human history. We want to believe that there is something more, so that Death is not THE END. Not of everything, at least. And that we might see our loved ones again.
And maybe the Bible's right. But then, maybe the Greeks were right. Or the Egyptians. Or maybe Buddha had it.
Or maybe none of them are. I'm not content with any of their explanations.
I know that if I were a god, I'd want to prove myself once a decade or so at least, to remind EVERYBODY who the real God is.
And I would smite an earth-bound avatar if he was too worldly to represent me properly.
Yeah. I have issues with religion. And they run deeper every year. Like a river making a canyon - it started out as just a trickle of doubt, but now it's a raging torrent. I don't even care for the Ghost-in-the-Machine idea anymore.
Funny how the smallest things create the deepest moments, huh?
I'm going to stop thinking now. Bye. |
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| E-mailing Arjen Effing Lucassen |
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| 06:35pm 29/10/2008 |
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mood: cheerful music: Eve of Seduction - Symphony X
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I recently e-mailed the mastermind behind Ayreon, composer Arjen Lucassen. And he was so damned amiable in his response that it makes me giddy. If you care to, read on. And whether you care to or not, go buy an Ayreon album!
( For Ayreon fans ) |
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| Bad Chibi! |
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| 06:04pm 29/10/2008 |
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mood:  bouncy music: Paradise Lost - Symphony X
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XD
So, Robin and I were completely irresponsible last night. We went and got an XBOX 360. With Halo 3 and ES4: Oblivion. I had decided to get one at some point. But Robin mentioned as we walked to class yesterday that she was, strangely, wanting to play Halo (THANK YOU DREW! LMFAO!). So, my nagging, whimsical Chibi, who sits on my shoulder (on the Devil's side) brainwashed me into going directly to Gamestop after class. XD
It hurt so good.
Now, I'm just waiting for a chance to get:
Fable II
Bioshock*
Call of Duty 4
Mass Effect*
KOTOR 2
Fallout 3
among others. Asterisked games I might wait to play on PC, since I'm finally getting a new one at the beginning of next semester. The two thousand I get back from Hope/Pell is going toward a new PC of doom! <3 Other than that, I have a good bit left from this semester's refunds, but all of that is going to be held for emergencies.
This purchase marks the end of big spending for a while - it counts towards Christmas, as well. XD So no going all out, unfortunately. I've been banned from that. Damn. But I still know what I want to get her. Tee-hee. And no, can't tell, 'cause she reads my posts. lol.
LOVE YOU, Robinness!! ^.^
Anyhow. I'm in a good mood.
Can you tell?
Anyhow, back to work. Byes! |
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| Reviews! |
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| 06:01pm 22/10/2008 |
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mood: bored music: Ayreon - "The Human Equation"
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Okay, so I've had time to listen to all of my new music (except for the Allen/Lande album, which I haven't gotten yet). So here are some reviews of the new musics! >D
Kamelot - "The Black Halo" - This is easily one of the best new albums in the set. Wonderful music, fantastic poetry. And Khan's voice is so effing enchanting. He's actually managing to sway Robin away from her loyalties to Sonata Arctica! XD I'm definitely going to get more from this group. The music ranges nicely, and there isn't a bad song in the bunch. The album is put together as a work all its own. And I have reason to suspect that it is similar to Symphony X's "Paradise Lost", in that it focuses on a piece of literature. Namely Goethe's "Faust". I highly recommend this album.
9.5/10
Ayreon - "01011001" - Okay, so Kyle was right. This is a bad Ayreon album. The funny thing about that is that it still carries itself decently; it's not a bad album, overall - just bad for Ayreon standards. The music doesn't suck. The storytelling is just a little weaker, especially on Disc Y. But it still offers great vocals and instrumentals. It still provides a bit of scorching commentary on society. It's still good literature.
7/10
Dream Theater - "Greatest Hit (And 21 Other Pretty Cool Songs)" - For this album, it comes down to song selection, and DT did a fairly good job with it. Several songs were edited or remixed, but not to the point where they're entirely different. Just improved. "Misunderstood", for instance, had the excess guitar adlibbing removed from the end, so that it doesn't go on for three minutes and threaten your sanity after a perfectly wonderful song. More importantly, it doesn't annoy the people you're trying to convince to like the band/song. Several songs I hadn't heard before, and they're all good, and classic examples of what Dream Theater is known for, and capable of. Still, I'm looking forward to their next NEW album.
9/10
Iced Earth - "Crucible of Man" - As good a job as Owens did, I must say, it's very, VERY good to hear Barlow again. I've only played the disc through twice, so there's still some stuff I haven't caught, but Schaffer's composition and story-telling is as great as ever. Wonderful album thus far. Although, I've sense a bit more of a Power Metal (in a Blind Guardian sense) influence, like Kursch and Olbrich snuck into Schaffer's room one night while he slept and altered a few chords. Overall, great album.
9/10
Metallica - "Death Magnetic" - Okay, so it isn't the Black Album. But it's fairly good. I was disappointed slightly to not hear similar chords in "Unforgiven III" from I or II. But there's still plenty of good music. I love the album cover - it portrays a message all its own, perhaps better than the music, itself. But I didn't enjoy every moment, unlike with Iced Earth or Kamelot.
7.5/10
Porcupine Tree - "Fear of a Blank Planet" - I've had all but one song for this album for a while. It's awesome. Get it.
8.5/10
Shinedown - "The Sound of Madness" - So, perhaps the third time is truly a charm for Shinedown. The newest album, in my opinion, beats out both of their previous albums. And while "45" will be forever their ultimate song, at least one-third of the new album comes close to dislodging it from its place. Every song is strong, and I adore this album.
9.5/10
Vienna Teng - "Dreaming Through the Noise" - Vienna's newest album still exhibits her marvelously angelic voice. We already had about half of the songs from this album, but the new ones are good. And her poetry is still deliciously wonderful. It's not rock, but pleasing in its own way.
8/10
Seether - "Finding Beauty in Negative Spaces" - So, Seether is more Robin's band than mine. But I'm addicted to their newest single, "Rise Above This". If you haven't seen the video to it, watch it. The video paints the meaning of the song out perfectly. And it's something I feel rather strongly about. As for the rest of the album, there are several good songs, and Seether actually has an effing amazing vocabulary. It makes me happy. But I'm not fond of EVERY song.
7/10
That's it for now. Got to get ready for class. XD |
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